GOOD BYE

This is my last posting before I go home this Saturday. You know, I can't feel nothing now. I don't know what happen to me. I just see nothing, everything is dark. I can see nothing. I am afraid to open my eyes, I scare with the reality, I don't wanna live in this real world if i could do it. Have you ever experienced it? I thing that this is the worst moment in my worst year. I hope that I can make it better next year. No body's wrong. I am wrong.... Although I have a reason to do that but I do know i was wrong.

I just can say "This is perfect!" Really, Honestly.... Serious! Perfect because I have done the stupid thing. I've alreday done. I hope that I have the other lives besides here. I hope that I don't need to wear a mask in front of people. I hope that I live in the Neverland with Peterpan where I always smile, no tears, no pain, no reality. What a stupid idea! I can't see which is the right one or which is the wrong one. I do know it is different but i can't see nothing!

Do you understand me? I don't need your presence, I just need your shadow when i try to hide from reality.

3 Hari Yang Lalu

Jumat-Sabtu-Minggu kemarin PMK Unaki ikut Retreat akhir tahun 2013 di WRB Salatiga. Kayak yang gue bilang kemarin hahahaha mereka dikerjain pas games. disuruh pegang belut sodara-sodara...... Tapi asli mantap dah.... Kalo seminggu lagi masih jalan retreatnya sih ayok aja gue...... charger roh lah pas disana, sekalin dapet berkat jasmani dan rohani. Sesi yang paling gue senengin itu pas sesinya Opa Guntar yang temanya LSD (Love, Sex and dating). Wakakakakakakakak..... Asli kena banget deh gue rasanya kayak dipanah tepat di jantung gue. Ga bisa bernafas rasanya cuma bisa mlongo. Yang panting semua enjoy......
Nih foto-fotonya gue lampirin.

INDONESIA atau ENDONESA??

Hari ini gue ikut seminar tentang "Penyeragaman Bahasa Media Massa, Mungkinkah?".  Janjinya sih jam 8.00 mulai. Tapi ngaret sampai jam 9.45 baru opening. Lucunya yang dari kampus lain mereka pakai almamaternya. Kami kelupaan tadi. Jadi nyantai aja, cuma pakai kaos berkerah (ga formal banget) huahuahuahauhahauhahua....... Lagian mereka dari kampus lain aja bawa armada segudang, kami cuma 4 orang (termasuk satu dosen). Ga apa-apa lah yang penting ikut ja. Lagian ilmunya juga dapet kok.

Habis sambutan ketua panitia, dimulailah serah-terima kenang-kenangan dari ketua panitia kepada nara sumber. Mereka ketawa-ketawa ig.... Piye jal? (Jawa in action). Astagaaaa..... Bapak di belakangku ini nguapnya lebar banget?!

Seru banget deh seminarnya. Gimana enggak coba, kalo yang mereka bicarakan kebanyakan jorok-joroknya. Pembicaranya orang jurnalistik semua. Wah ga salah gue ikut nih. Selama seminar ni gue banyak dapet wangsit (yaelah??). Otak gue dibukakan kalo sebenarnya orang Indonesia itu belum bisa berbahasa Indonesia dengan baik dan benar. Terkejut juga gue kalo sebenarnya 8 dari 10 bahasa Indonesia adalah bahasa asing! Ga banyak bahasa aslinya (lalu? semuanya palsu huahuahauahahauahua.....). Contohnya, ada judul berita utama di salah satu koran yang penulisnya salah kaprah ga bisa bedakan "di" huruf depan atau yang sering anak bahasa bilang preposisi dengan "di-" awalan. Ntah ini yang salah Penulisnya atau editornya ga penting dah. Yang jelas mereka ternyata belum bisa membedakan mana "di" yag dipisah dan mana yang harus disatuin (jangan-jangan nih tulisan gue juga gitu lagi?). Kayak gini nih isinya "4 Pelaku Pencurian Motor di Bawa ke Kantor Polisi." Kalo loe jeli pasti tau dimana salahnya. Yang itu baru satu aja, masih ada yang lain dan yang lebih ga masuk akal. Sepulang seminar ini tadi gue langsung baca koran di kos. Mana tau ada yang salah juga di dalam koran yang udah berkaliber begitu. Dan ternyata emang iya huauhuahuhhuahauhauahahua...... Ada juga dalam berita ditulis begini,"Seorang wanita berinisial MG telah ditusuk dadanya hingga tembus ke dada belakang." Wuakakakakakakakakakakak asli ngakak deh gue..... Kenapa ga sekalian bilang ditusuk di bagian perut depan sampai tembus ke perut belakang?! Konyol dah. Seru juga mengamati hal-hal aneh nan penuh mistis dan magis ini hahahahahhaha.....

Salah satu pembicara tadi juga berkomentar tentang negeri ini. Kenapa bangsa Indonesia yang sebenarnya memiliki potensi yang besar dalam hal budaya dan sumber daya masih tertinggal oleh negara-negara Asia yang lainnya? Simpel saja, karena dari dulu sampai sekarang semboyan Indonesia adalah MENGEJAR KETERTINGGALAN. Sekali lagi gue mau ngakak wkwkwkwkwkwkwkwkwkkwwkwkwkwk...... Ketertinggalan kok dikejar? Kapan majunya? Harusnya semboyan kita itu Mengejar Kemajuan gitu lah. Kalo ketertinggalan terus yang dikejar ya balik kanana lah mundur terus. Kadang-kadang memang kita memang kurang memperhatikan bahasa dan budaya kita sendiri sehingga kita lebih suka dikontaminasi oleh bahasa asing. Nah kata "terkontaminasi" sendiri kan sebenarnya bahasa asing yang 'di-Indonesiakan". Diserap dari bahasa Inggris "contaminate" yang artinya  "dikotori" atau "dicampuri". Biar lebih Indonesia makanya ditambah awalan "ter-" dan akhiran "-isasi". Gue kan masih ada campuran jawa nih, berarti gue juga bisa "men-Jawakan" bahasa asing donk ya?? hehehe.... Kalo bahasa Jawa halus itu biasanya diberi akhiran "-ipu" supaya mejadi bahasa Krama Inggil (bahasa sopan tingkat tinggi orang Jawa). Jadi gue biasa bilang "mripatipun", "mobilipun", "necklace-ipun", "cake-ipun", dan sebagainya... dan sebagianya....

Pose dulu ah

Hahaha lucunya gue komentar masalah bahasa kayak gini, bahasa yang gue pake malah acakadut sendiri ig... hahahahhaa.... Ya ga apa-apalah, kan cuma belajar komentar aja. Ntar kalo udah jadai penulis ya beda. Eh, ngomong-ngomong gue jadi pengen nulis blog pake bahasa jawa aja deh kapan-kapan hahahahaha.....

Wassallam.

Ngawur Bersama Saya

Siang begini gue lagi nongkrong di SR. Rencananya sih mau beli coklat panas, tapi pas nengok ke kantong ternyata kantong gue lagi bolong. Ya udah beli coklat favorit gue aja Choki-Choki hahahaha..... Kalo udah begini gue jadi inget jaman SMA dulu waktu gue masih unyu-unyu belum kenal yang namanya jerawat hahahaha.... (sekarang udah gudangnya). Dulu dikit-dikit hang out bareng temen-temen ke cafe ntah beli coklat panas, kopi ato minimal jus aja lah. Sekarang sih hang out juga masih di cafe, tapi bedanya sekarang cuma numpang duduk aja sambil lihatin orang makan kwkwkwkwkwk. Tapi ngomong-ngomong udah hampir empat bulan ini gue ga minum kopi.. Kangen juga gue. Kemana-mana cuma Choki-Choki yang di kantong gue. Lupa juga sih sejak kapan gue mulai suka coklat dan kopi. Seingat gue dulu.... dulu banget waktu listrik belum masuk kampung gue.... si Bule yang ngenalin gue sama minuman mahal tu. Kena deh, ketagihan gue jadinya. Wah, jadi kangen......

_____(sound of the broken cassette again)______

Lesson for today is about Formal Education and Informal Education. Kalo loe jadi gue mana bakalan loe pilih? Formal Education is usual learning that we have in the school or campus and we have to go there everyday from Monday until Friday. Informal Education is more like home schooling. So, you call a teacher to come to your house to teach you alone.... No friends, no cheating, no have fun and yeah... for me it means no life. But I don't say that I hate home schooling. I just prefer to Formal Education. Because here i found my community and I found you. Excuse me? You? Who? Just you.... hahahahaha..... I mean I won't find something interest that will colors my world. I meet people, I share anything, anytime and in any conditions (what the h**l is it?).

_____(sound of a mosquito disturbs me)_______

It depends on you lah. Which one do you prefer to. BTW disini wifi lelet banget ig. Tapi ga tau juga apa yang bikin gue betah lama-lama nongkrong disini.

Besok Jumat ada retreat buat anak-anak PMK. Dan hebohnya gue belum sia-siap apapun temasuk nyuci baju kotor gue yang udah segunung. Ga punya tas juga ig buat berangkat. Ato pake tas plastik aja ya hahahaha... Kan lebih otentik tuh..... Lama-lama nulis kok jadi nglantur ya? Hehe, bodo amat ah yang penting happy. Judulnya aja Ngawur Bersama Saya jadi ya ngawur aja.

Di depan gue nih lagi ada dua bapak-bapak yang sedang debat masalah politik. Ngotot banget lagi mereka dua nih. Yang pake baju warna krem minta pertanggungjawaban pemerintah katanya (tapi ngomongnya sama teman sebelahnya). Yang pake baju garis-garis ngotot yang bermasalah itu bukan pemerintahnya tapi rakyatnya yang susah diatur. Heboh deh lah mereka nie. Gue pikir awalnya mereka ini pengamat politik, eh ternyata sodara..... Ternyata yang berbaju garis-garis itu penjual batu akik dan yang satunya lagi itu pembelinya. Hah?! Shock gue hahahahahaha......

Bentar lagi mau Natal nih tinggal tunggu hari aja. Tadi gue lihat kue nastart. Pengen beliiiiiiii....... T_T Biasanya mami bikin di rumah kalo pas natalan trus gue bantuin. Pengen pulang secepatnyaaaaaaaa....... Ntar tanggal 21 kalo Pak Boss mengijinkan maka gue langsung terbang hahahahahaha..... (Yaelah cuman sini Jogja aja). Kira-kira mau ngapain aja ntar gue di rumah ya? jadi bingung....

I am just kidding about the love story

Have you ever read about love story or watched it in the movies? Sometimes it looks funny and weird. Just because of love people can laugh for something they don’t know. Because of love too people can cry. But honestly I have ever imagined about that. Because I have wild imagination, I have ever written a script about love story, the queerest love story that I have ever made.

The script in my mind: 

Sometimes, people who never care for you, never look at you, never smile to you, never speak to you and seem like always ignore you, they can be the one who loves you more than others possibly could.

________(Sound of the broken cassette)_________

Forget it! That is just in the script. I never find the story like that in this real world. That is just my imagination. Not really exist. But the opposite of that story I often find it. People who seem like loving you, caring for you and so on… and so on…. They can be the one who can break your heart deeper than anyone else can do. Hahahahha…. Once more I am just kidding about it.

It depends on the people you meet. They can give you the most joyful thing they have for you. They also can take everything from you. Hahahahahaha…. Terrible? No, all over again.... I Am Just Kidding.

HIDUPMU ADALAH HIDUPKU

Dalam hidup ini kita ga akan pernah tau dengan siapa kita akan bertemu, dengan siapa kita akan jatuh cinta ataupun dengan siapa kita akan membenci. Manusia ga akan pernah tau apa yang akan terjadi pada masa depannya. Siapa yang akan menjadi pendampingnya atau siapa yang akan menjadi rival abadinya.

Hidup manusia itu unik. Hanya sementara tetapi memiliki kenangan yang panjang untuk diingat. Sebentar mereka berdiri, sebentar kemudian mereka duduk. Sesaat dia berlari, sesaat kemudian dia berhenti. Ketika hari masih di ufuk mereka bernafas, ketika hari mulai senja habislah sudah nafas itu. Hidup ini hanya sebatas perjalanan singgah untuk minum, setelah selesai maka semua akan kembali ke tempat dimana seharusnya kita berada. Seperti daun yang tidak tau kapan dia akan jatuh ketika angin meniupnya hingga jauh.

Kita tidak akan pernah tau potongan mozaik apa lagi yang akan kita temui sampai saatnya kita sendiri menjalaninya. Itu yang membuat semuanya terasa abstrak, mengejutkan, aneh dan penuh misteri. Hanya saja aku lebih suka yang misteri. Terasa lebih surprise. Kamu ga akan pernah tau kapan kamu akan jatuh cinta, kapan kamu akan merasa kehilangan, kapan saat kamu akan menangis atau tertawa. Mungkin saat kamu bertemu dengan seseorang hari ini, ternyata orang itulah yang menjadi potongan mozaikmu dan menjadi bagian dari hidupmu. Saat kamu mendengar alunan music Mozart, tanpa kamu sadari kamu ikut larut di dalamnya. Mungkin kamu berfikir bahwa kita saling bertemu adalah suatu kebetulan. Bagiku mungkin saja itu adalah kebetulan yang terencana.

Hidup ini istimewa. Istimewa karena kita tidak tau apa yang akan terjadi esok. Bertemu dengan seseorang atau tidak itu bukan kendali kita. Begitu juga ketika kita mengasihi seseorang. Saat pikiranmu menolak untuk mengasihi seseorang tetapi hatimu memaksa. Saat kau ingin berlari sejauh yang kau bisa, tetapi kakimu menolak untuk bergerak. Saat instingnmu mencoba untuk mendua tetapi nuranimu bertahan untuk setia. Ketika kehendakmu bukanlah kehendakmu. Ketika cintamu adalah semu. Ketika yang kau dapat bukanlah apa yang kau inginkan. Semua hanya bayangan fatamorgana yang ada dalam benakmu. Tidak ada yang benar-benar abadi di dunia ini. Apa yang kita miliki saat ini akan hilang suatu saat nanti. Yang lama akan terganti dengan yang baru. Rasa yang dulu telah pudar ditelan waktu. Semua angan, cinta, harapan dan rasaku telah hilang dalam birumu.

Seperti yang kupercayai, tidak ada pertemuan yang abadi. Tetapi seperti pertemuan, tidak ada perpisahan yang abadi. Saat ini, disini, di tempat ini.

A New Heart

“The extraordinary things only happen to the extraordinary people,” Reepicheep said In Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I think that it is same with God when He wants to give a responsibility to someone. He will never give a big project for the ordinary people. Dari situ gue belajar banyak hal. Ga semua orang punya kapasitas yang sama dalam menjalankan satu tanggung jawab. Dan semakin besar tanggung jawab yang Tuhan berikan kepada seseorang maka semakin besar pula kapasitas yang akan dimiliki oleh orang itu.

Semua orang pasti menginginkan sesuatu yang besar terjaddi dalam dirinya kan?? Besar berkatnya, besar hikmatnya, besar kasihnya asal jangan besar kepala aja hehehe. Dan sebagai anak Allah bukankah sudah seharusnya kalo kita dapat porsi yang besar itu. Tapi kadang kita yang tidak siap menerimanya.  Lho kok bisa?? Ada cerita dari salah satu teman gue tentang dua orang petani. Kedua petani itu sama-sama sedang mengusahakan ladangnya untuk menanti hujan turun. Petani A mempersiapkan ladangnya sedemikian rupa sehingga ketika hujan turun dia sudah mempersiapkan segalanya. Kemudian datang Petani B hanya asal-asalan mengusahakan ladangnya. Dia berpikir jika hujan datang maka dia akan mulai bekerja keras. Manakah dari anatara mereka yang akan menuai hasil yang lebih baik? Pasti Petani A. karena jauh-jauh hari dia sudah siapkan ladangnya sehingga ketika hujan turun ladang tempat dia bekerja sudah siap menerima tumpahan air hujan itu. It’s simple. As simple as the theory. Because he prepared anything before the rain comes. That’s it!

Sama seperti kita juga sebenarnya guys. Bapa pasti selalu menyediakan hal yang besar kepada kita anak-anak-Nya. Hanya saja terkadang kita tidak mempersiapkan bejana yang pas untuk menampung berkat Tuhan yang besar itu. Sehingga ketika Tuhan curahkan berkat yang besar itu bejana kita koyak dan akhirnya bejana itu kosong lagi.

Let's start again from the beginning. Remember, this is just a beginning. Lord wants it more than a new start, but He wants a new heart.

The First Day We Create New Account

Hari ini gue ada tambahan kuliah dari Kak Michael, IT support staff kampus gue. Materinya bikin blog baru buat E-Magazine FBS class. (Bocoran aja nih, bulan ini ga lagi pake mading tempel. tapi dah beralih ke Teknologi skrg hahahha). Semua pada pusing gara-gara Internet Connection kampus agak trouble. Sejam lebih kami cuma bikin email buat sign up ke WordPress ga jadi-jadi. Hahahahahha tapi asik juga sih ngelihat muka temen-temen gue yang dah loyo plus kedinginan karena AC-nya dah minus 5 derajat hahahaha.... Apalagi muka Kak Michael yang dah pusing nanggepin ulah kami. Hahahaha gue ingat chattingan sama dia kemarin. Padahal dia bilang kalo bakalan bikin anak FBS, terutama gue, pusing tujuh keliling dengan materi yang akan dia sampaikan. Itu sih katanya.... Kenyataannya? Jelas dia yang pusing hahaahahahahaha.....

Sekarang gue lagi duduk di ruang marketing sama Opung gue dan Kak Riccy. Ntah si opung apa aja di komen. Padahal ga berurusan sama dia juga. emang "kepo". Hahahaha..... Tapi mereka asik semua kok (ngomong gini karena dilihatin dia sambil ditodong pisau). Gue terjebak banjir di kampus. Hujan sekali lagi ni ga cuma kecebong aja yng lewat tapi bentar lagi Ikan Paus Belunga pun berenang depan kampus. Nasib dah, padahal perut ni dah berontak minta makan.

Akhirnya.... Wasallam.

IS IT WRONG TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE??

Minggu-minggu ini gue lagi mikirin satu lagu worship yang touch banget ke hati gue. Beautiful  Savior judulnya. Pas gue mikirin lagu ini, gue lagi dapat satu proses tentang hati. Ga usah gue critain kronologinya lah ya….. Yang jelas lagu ini mengingatakan tentang satu hal, kalo terkadang kita memalingkan muka dari Bapa untuk lebih mencurahkan perhatian ke hal-hal lain yang menurut kita lebih “menarik”. For example about money, your family or your relationship.

Salah satu kasus yang sering terjadi adalah soal relationship. Kalo gue tanya is it wrong to have a relationship with a guy?? You know the answer lah. Lagian kan ga ada juga orang yang disalahkan karena menjalin hubungan dengan seseorang yang mereka suka. Menjalin hubungan dengan lawan jenis memang tidak salah. So, the question is….. Apakah hatimu tetap sama terhadap Tuhan dan pelayananmu jika kamu menjalin hubungan dengan seseorang yang kamu “kasihi”? Apakah kamu bsa menjamin hatimu untuk Tuhan tidak akan terbagi?

Dalam pikiran kalian pasti bertanya, kalo gitu ga boleh donk orang punya pacar?? Bukannya ga boleh, hanya saja siapkah hatimu untuk menduakan pacarmu bagi Tuhan? Kalo malam minggu biasanya yang pacaran pergi dating. Eh, padahal hari sabtu malam itu waktunya bagi pemuda gereja untuk ibadah youth. Nah disinilah time to make a decision. Manakah yang lebih berharga bagimu, waktumu untuk Tuhan atau waktumu bagi pacarmu? Saat pacarmu ulang tahun dan kalian berencana hang out bareng, tiba-tiba ada tugas pelayanan ke luar kota. Manakah yag akan loe utamakan? Teori sih gampang kan…. Prakteknya silahkan dijawab sendiri. Logikanya aja lah, kita cenderung ga akan bisa berdoa karena dalam pikiran kita cuma ada bayangan si dia aja. Ngaku aja deh. Hahahaha…… gue ga nge-judge siapa-siapa ya, itu menurut kesaksian gue sendiri sih hehe…. Bahan kalo boleh dibilang nih gue ga perlu nunggu foto terbaru dari dia untuk gue gambar. Karena gue udah bisa gambar muka dia dalam ingatan gue. Ngeri gak tuh. Duduk berjam-jam ngegambar muka dia bisa tahan sampe lebaran monyet. Tapi giliran disuruh doa dan baca Firman satu jam aja susahnya minta ampun. Dan itu memang harus minta ampun. Statement dari senior gue yang keren adalah “Loe mau dibina atau dibinasakan?” ahahhahaha…. Lucu kedengarannya kan. Tapi serius itu lho…. Karena Tuhan itu adalah Tuhan yang cemburu. Kasih-Nya itu api yang menghangatkan bisa juga membinasakan. Jadi pilih sendiri yang mana.

Suka sama orang itu sah-sah aja. Tapi tau batas juga lah…. Tapi kalo hati loe belum bisa menomorsekiankan pacarmu mendingan ga usah dulu deh. Loe bakalan mikir klo semua itu adalah milik loe seorang, loe bakalan takut kehilangan waktumu, pacarmu dan “cinta”mu. Padahal semakin loe takut keilangan maka hal itu lah yang akan diambil darimu. Jadi daripada nanggung resiko mendingan kan ga usah…. (brilliant). Mendingan bayangin aja kalo sekarang Tuhan lagi berdiri di depanmu sambil membawa karung berisi belahan jiwa loe yang sesungguhnya. Dan pada waktunya nanti Dia akan memberikan yang sepadan dan yang terbaik buat loe. Cuma tinggal tunggu waktu aja... Aseeeekkk… hahahahha.

Tentang lagu Beautiful Savior tadi, kalo menurut gue lagu ini adalah lagu yang indah. Bukan Cuma karena liriknya yang indah tapi juga artinya yang indah. Bapa lah satu-satunya pribadi yang indah. Karena keindahan-Nya bukan keindahan yang sementara, tapi keindahan yang sejati, kekal dan penuh kemuliaan. Orang di dunia aja ngejar kemuliaan kok, ntah itu posisi, jabatan dan lain sebagainya. Masak kita ga mau ngejar kemuliaan yang ga akan pernah usang?? And the best thing that you have to know is A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IS THE BEST RELATIONSHIP YOU CAN HAVE! because He gave His son to die on the cross for you.... He can fill you with His love and glory if you are willing.

So let's check the song out and find out your mind :

Jesus beautiful Savior

God of majesty, Risen King

Lamb of God

Holy and righteous

Blessed redeemer, bright morning star

All the heaven shout Your praise

All creation bow to worship You

How wonderful, How beautiful

Name above every name

Exalted high

How wonderful, How beautiful

Jesus Your name, name above every name

Jesus

I will sing forever

Jesus I love You,

Jesus I love You

My Diary

Gue suka ngelukis. orang lain bilang itu bakat, tapi whatever lah,  gue cuma suka aja. Beberapa orang (yang pintar tentu saja) berani mempublikasikan gambarnya di jejaring sosial. Gue sih masih belum tertarik kesitu ya (karena gue belum pintar hahaha), tapi kalo dicoba kayaknya boleh juga tuh.... karena sempat gue mau off dari dunia gambar-menggambar, istilah dari temen gue tuh "pensiun jadi gambarwati" wkwkwkwkwk..... Itu karena ada sedikit trouble sama diri gue sendiri aja. But whatever lah...... yang lalu biarlah berlalu, karena sesungguhnya yang baru telah datang. (hahahaha lagi2 modus).

gambar gue kayaknya ga jelek2 amat sih, ga bagus juga maksudnya, tapi bisalah untuk pajangan nakut2in tikus di kos gue hahahaha... (sudah mulai besar kepala).

this is mine.

i found it in FB

sama orang yang di lukis tapi beda jadinya ahahaha

Udah banyak gambar yang gue bikin, ga tau mau gue apain semuanya itu...

ini ga tau juga gue gambar cewek lagi ngapain.

salah satu aliran alay gue hahahaha

kata temen2 gue sih ini bunga kantung semar. mereka ketawa klo gue bilang kalo sebenarnya ini adalah gambar embung yang menetes...wkwkwkwk

kalo yang satu ini silahkan terka sendiri siapakah dia.....

Sabaku no Gaara.....gue lagi gila2 naruto nih...... bambar jaman gue masih unyu... :)

ntah Demi Lovato ato Kety Perry juga bingung gue

yang ini tugas gue bikin gambar buat ditempel di MaDing kampus. nah jadilah begini... JREEENG...JREEENG.... konyol kan?? gue pikir juga kayak gitu

ini primadona di file lukisan gue.....

dah itu aja sebagian tumpahan kreativtas gue.... masih banyak yang lain... klo mau liat datang ja ke kos gue hahahahaha......

For the last three days I have shared with some people. We have shared about anything. About life, love, knowledge, commitment, leaderships and many more topics that change my mind.

On Monday, I shared with my Semantic lecturer. She told me how to be a good student in a class and for my faculty. I like her manner when she shared. I became open minded how to face the thesis next year. What is my major and how to analyze a subject.

On Tuesday, my Economic Lecturer treated FBS class to have lunch together. We talked about anything. He shared about his business that he do besides his teaching economic in the university. Something different when I saw him this day. He is smart, not too smart I guessed but he is creative. He knows everything by his life learning. He teaches us not only with his knowledge but also his experiences. I begin to like him I think. He gave us an advice so that we can manage our times. All people have the same times, 24 hours a day. But not all people can manage their times to be an extraordinary man. The key is what we will do with our times. Just having fun or we will do it with the worth things. Everything have fruits. Don’t do the bad things if you don’t want to get something bad in your lives. That’s it! So simple but you get the message.

Tuesday night I shared with my friend about serving with a clear heart. Sometimes in this world we have to choose the hard things that we never like to do. Sometimes God will take the most valuable thing of our life but we have to know that His plans always be perfect forever. He knows everything about us. And when we do everything we have to enjoy it. Because there is a time when we can’t do that thing anymore. I remember Narnia where Aslan said the the same thing never happen twice in life. So I think that I will enjoy everything that I do and I will do it whole heartedly.

And today, Wednesday, I shared with my seniors. The first was my brother. He shared about leadership and how to be a good leader. The leader is not a person who stay on the top of the occupation just like a general manager, director of a company. But the real leader is a one who become the impact when they are around, wherever they go, whatever they do. A person who become an example for everyone around him. A position doesn’t make someone become the “real leader”. Great quote hahahhaha.

Today I also shared with another senior. She is my spiritual sister. I really love her so much. I learn more from her. This afternoon was about commitment. I think I need more time to share this sharing. The simple is we do the commitment because of the rule. But we do the commitment because we really want to get something that God will give us a thing (a marvelous thing) because we are obey to Him. This is my faith. Everyone have their own perceptions. But it will be great if we do the commitment because we will get the plus point from Him. I will wait it hahahahaha. I try to enjoy everything in my life now. I don’t care what people say about me. This is me. I imagine what kind of thing that God will give me. I have to wait for that hahahahhaha….. J

Over all, I am really blessed because I have them in my life. I am blessed because I have this community which (maybe) I won’t have it in another day. I try to enjoy all of the bittersweet of this process. Just can say “thank’s Lord for everything You have given to me”, I enjoy it. Just like Aslan ever said,”The same thing never happen twice in life, Dear one.”

God bless.

Last week we did the mid test. That Friday we had to face with Literature. In a day we did three subjects (Drama, Poetry and Prose). The interesting subject for me was Prose because we did a film review. Actually I didn’t study anything the night before the test. So it was very terrible I couldn’t answer the questions at all (cried… T_T). We had to analyze “Pacific Rims”. What kind of movie was that?! I had never seen it before.

The test was over. So, finally, I watched it. From the beginning till the end of the movie I was made tense by the movie. I hope that you have watched it so you can understand what I mean (too lazy to explain it hehehe).

The most interesting thing was the main actor of the Pacific Rims. Charlie Hunnam as Raleigh Becket. He is cool.

And the woman is Rinko Kikuchi as Mako Miru. I like her performance in this movie.

But the most fantastic and handsome actor is……
JREEEEENG…. JREEEEEENG…. JREEEEEENG……

 

Hahahaha…. I am just kidding. Raleigh Becket is numb. one.

SEHARI BERSAMA SASTRA

Hari ini ujian full SASTRA..... Prose, Drama and Poetry dlam sehari.....

Gue kagak belajar semalam arna ngerjain tgs TTS yang kemarin gue bilang itu.....
Loe tau alhasil NGARANG BEBAS pun jadi bray....aseeekkk....
Gue lagi duduk sama temen-teman nih... Septi seperti biasa, Sweet Yuli, Iyuth, Hanna Meyti, dan lain sebagainya...... hahahahahah.......

Yang pasti hari iini merdeka.... Karna gue bisa ngarang bebas sebebas-bebasnya...... grookkkk....groookkkkk.......  (Babi gue mana????)

muka2 anak FBS waktu ngerjain TTS hari ini

I never know what I do or what i feel now. I never realize that I have this feeling for my friend. I mean I am not too close with him, i just know him, we are just friend. Until my close friend told me that I am different when I saw him. Something strange happened to me. I don't know why, but after she told me like that I became more realize that I need him so much.

Have you ever experienced it before? You know, day by day become crazier than before because of that. See, you can smile when the one you love seems happy. You become happy just because the one you love is laughing for something you don't know. You feel that your burdens disappear when you meet the one you live. You feel that you are going to explode when the one you love is looking at you. You will never know how to explain that feeling you have. Because it is just like a magic. You won't need anything else but his smile. That's enough for you.

Sometimes i feel that he ignore me. I will jealous when he close with the other girls. But I try to erase that feeling, because I know that he is not mine (exactly now, but I don't know forward hahaha). But I know that he care for me. Gotcha!!! hahahahahaha....... That's enough..... Just do like usual but the important thing is he care for me... LOL.....

God bless.

Coffee for The Rain

I am woken up by the sound of the falling rain outside the house. The smell of the wet land outside makes me feel relax. Now is 7.00 a.m. I glance at the dressing table there is a beautiful scarlet carson rose bouquet. Last night I got it from someone I’m madly in love with. Today I decide not to go anywhere today. I just want to enjoy my time with myself.

I walk to the kitchen and make a cup of coffee. Suddenly something in the past appear when I smell the coffee. I sit on the window in my room. The taste of the coffee brings me back to the past. It was several years ago before I became me today.

“Stevie!" shouted a voice behind me. I knew whose voice it was. Joshua, my BFF (best friend forever). The first time I met him was in the elementary school. He gave me a chocolate bar in my 6th birthday. Since that time we had become friends. “Hi, why do you bring your camera here?” “As usual, do you have a free time after school?” “Yes, I do.” “Good. Come with me. I have a new place for us to take the pictures. I promise you’ll like it.” “Have you done your home works? You remember to hunt a picture but you always forget to finish your home works.” “I can do it after we go, right?” “Whatever, I told you, Josh. If you get a bad score again in this semester that isn’t my responsibility.” “Yeah, I won’t ask you responsible for that,” he laughed at me before he left.

Actually, he wasn’t a good friend. We didn’t have the same perception about everything. I loved coffee and chocolate, but he hated it. He loved rain and photography very much, I really hated the rain. The only reason why we were always together was we were different.

After school I waited for him in the café nest to the school building. That was my favorite place to spend my time and enjoyed a cup of coffee. I ordered a cup of Americano Coffee. Not so long I was waiting, Joshua came. “I know you are here.” “You know me so well, Josh. Do you want to drnk a cup of coffee?” “No, thank’s. I hate it. I will buy Strawberry Sundae for myself.” I didn’t know why he didn’t like coffee. As long as we were together he never drank coffee. I tried to guess the reasons, but I never found the answers.

We went to the place he meant after he had finished his strawberry sundae. A long the way, I realized that the place was nice. It surprised me very much after we had arrived in a hill. There was a little river flowed on the right side of the hill. I could see the farms in the distance. The grass was really green, the air was clean and I guessed it would be very romantic in the evening because we could see the sun set in the west. Perfect place!

“Alright, welcome to the paradise. Do you like this place?” “I hate to say it, but to be honest, Josh, this is the perfect place that I have ever seen.” “I know you’ll love it.” Suddenly I remembered something about us. He could made me smile every time, gave me a little surprise and he would do everything that I asked him to do. My mind became awkward when I reminded my classmate’s word that we looked like a couple not an ordinary friend. They said that I was here for Joshua, and He was here for me. I ignored it. It didn’t make sense, because we had known each other for almost 12 years. I had no idea if I had to build a relationship with my own best friend! But I realized that we couldn’t always be together forever. I imagined that we had our own couple, could we become the close friend like this? Could we do everything together? I became scare to think about that. “Stevie, come!” he shouted at me. I come to him. He took my pictures. I like his style took a picture. We had fun until we were tired. We took so many pictures there. Unluckily the rain came. Ok, I was wet! I hated te rain!

Joshua brought me to a cottage near that place. There was a man sold corns. Luckily the man had coffee. It could warmed me who was felt so cold. Joshua still didn’t want to drink it. “Josh, why do you like the rain?” “Stevie, have you a reason why you love coffee?” “Excuse me?” “It is just like you. I just like the rain as you like your coffee.” Again, he smiled at me and it didn’t answer my question at all. But I enjoyed the time with him today. “Yeah, I know now. Thank you by the way…. You don’t answer my question.” He laughed again and looked at me deeply, “Stevie, it is a simple reason why I love the rain. If you are dancing in the rain when you are sad, nobody knows that in the same time you are also crying. For the rain come down and wash away your tears.” I just could smile at him. Why I didn’t realize that he was different. I could say it romantic want

I always thought about him after that day. But I tried as neutral as I could to control my feeling in front of him. I hated to confess it, but I began to love him.

Until that afternoon when I saw him in the canteen he was laughing with Amanda, my schoolmate who I hate. I didn’t have a good relation with her. She often brought me to the bad conditions where I always went to be the loser in front of people. Although I know that she did it because she wanted to have friends like me. Yeah, she didn’t have a friend actually. And that afternoon I had to see her laughed with my Joshua. Oh, great! “Am I jealous?! C’mon, Stevie… you don’t need to do that!” I scream in the heart. “It doesn’t make sense if I am jealous with Amanda. But…. Why her?! Ok, I’m jealous now. I’m really jealous!”

I avoided Joshua after that day I saw him with Amanda. My feeling was so bad. Joshua wanted to know what happened to me. But I run away from him. He tried to meet me, but I ignored him. It didn’t solve the problem, in fact it burned of the flame. We never talked each other. I was busy with my activities, and of course he went out with Amanda. Perfect!

“Do you have a problem with Joshua, Stevie?” asked my classmate. “No, we’re fine.” “Are you sure? But why do I often see him go out with Amanda? And you’re never look together again.” “That’s not my business.” “Stevie, your answer has already shown me that you’re not ok.” I ignored her.  But I know she was right about it. Only the stupid blind person who didn’t realize that. I did as if I didn’t know Joshua and I didn’t care about him. But my heart always said that I really need him that much.

October 18th, my birthday came. Everybody gave me congratulations. I was waiting for him but he didn’t come. Alright, he ignored me. That wasn’t funny. Too obvious that he hated me. That was my birthday and my friend who I counted on didn’t come to congratulate me. I felt that it seemed like drinking a big cup of dark coffee. Too bitter than I could imagine.

I went home…. Alone…. I thought that nobody cared for me the sky was crying.it made me wet. Ok, I began remember him again and again about the situation, about my birthday and about the rain. But that day I just wanted to dance in the rain until nobody knew that I was crying. After that I didn’t remember everything. All that I knew I was lying on my bed when I opened my eyes.

“Mom….” I looked for my Mom. “Over here, sweetheart. Do you feel better?” “Hmm…. I think so…. What happened?” “You fainted on the way back home. Your friend brought you home.” Oh great. Everybody would think that I depressed because of Joshua. I couldn’t thing something. I just wanted to take a rest.

That night Joshua came to my house. He asked my Mom about my condition. I didn’t want to meet him. I told my Mom that I wanted to take a rest. I thought that Joshua understood what I meant. Finally he went home. I missed him but I hated him. “Why did you do that, Stevie? He looked so sad.” “It’s ok, Mom.” “Stevie, I know you. You have to talk with him, sweetheart.” “We’re ok, Mom. There is no something to talk.” “You’re not okay, Stevie. You know which friend of yours who brought you home this afternoon, Josh did. Whatever what your problem is, just remember what I say, you are friends, honey.” After my Mom left me in my room, I cried because I couldn’t do anything to clear this problem.

The next day in the school, I didn’t feel like doing anything. I decided to leave the class. I went to the café and enjoyed a cup of Espresso Con Panna. It was better to spend my bad time there.

After several time I was alone, Joshua came and sit beside me. “What are you doing here?” he asked me. “It’s not your business.” “Why you are here? I thought that you are in the class now. But I don’t find you everywhere. So I know you must be here.” I just kept silent. But he tried to make me talked to him. I let him keep talking about this, that, those and everything without I gave him a word. He realized that I didn’t interest with him. So he stopped for a moment and ordered Caffee Au Lait. I surprised since when he drank coffee?

He drank it a little. His expression showed that he didn’t like it. He forced himself to finish his coffee as fast as he could. “Are you crazy or something?” I commented. “No, why? I just want to try what you like,” he caught my eyes. “What?” “You know, Stevie. I can do everything to make you forgive me. Including to do something that I don’t like. I have tried drinking for several times, but I can’t lie to myself that I still hate it.” I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t believe that Joshua did everything that he hated just for me? Did it make sense? Only the stupid guy who was willing to drink something he didn’t like.

“Ok, Stevie…. Let’s talk. What happen to you? Did I do something wrong to you?” “No, Josh.” “So why do you like this?” “Where did you go in my birthday? I was waiting for you but you didn’t come.” “I’m so sorry, Stevie. When the rain came actually I wanted to make a surprise for you. But I saw you so happy to dance under the rain. So I stopped myself and let you enjoyed your time. But something happened. You fainted.” “I think that you have found your new friend who better than me?” I couldn’t stop my tears dropped on my face. “What do you mean? A new friend? “Amanda.” “I have guessed it. Oh, Stevie. I’m so sorry if you felt like that.” “Why you did it?” “She needs a friend, Stevie. I wanted to talk to you about this before but you never let me. I tell you, we have to change her life to be better. She is also our friend. But if you don’t like it I will stay away from her.” “No, Josh…. I’m sorry. I was jealous.” He looked at me in surprise. He didn’t say anything. But suddenly he gave me a hug. I felt warm, felt comfort.

“Stevie, when you were far away from me, I realized that I need you so much,” he said. “I drink coffee everyday, but it doesn’t change my mind. I don’t like coffee.” “You don’t like it? Really?” “Hmmm…. Maybe I begin to love it…. A little bit. So what did you do in the middle of the rain in your birthday yesterday? I had to brought you to back home.” “Oh, I’m so sorry for that. I just wanted to know what kind of feeling when I danced In the rain. And I like it.” “I told you, you’ll like it.”

That story happened five years ago. Now we’re together. And next month Joshua will marry me. My friends were right. Joshua is made for me and I’m for him. Coffee for the rain and the rain is created for the coffee. That is strange. But that is the story about a cup of coffee in the middle of the rain.

Lucunya Dunia Ini…..

Mengapa manusia suka membuat cerita menurut menurut versi dan keinginannya sendiri? Secara akal kebaikan akan selalu menang melawan kejahatan. Tapi apa akan selalu begitu dalam dunia nyatanya?

Berpikir bahwa sifat jahat akan selalu kalah oleh sifat baik memang bagus. Tetapi apakah harus selamanya yang dinilai jahat selalu menjadi kaum yang dikambinghitamkan? Salah satu contohnya, mengapa rakyat Indonesia selalu menganggap Pandawa sebagai tokoh yang protagonis, religius, baik hati, tidak sombong dan rajin menabung?(lho??). Sebaliknya mereka terpatri oleh kelakuan Kurawa yang urakan sebagai ciri khas antagonis, jahat, bengis dan sama sekali tidak doyan humor (ciiiyyuzzz?? Miapahh?). Sudah menjadi ciri khas bangsa manusia yang suka memuja-muja manusia lain yang dianggapnya baik dan bisa diharapkan (terutama dalam hal duit atau ngutang hehehe…). Padahal ada pepatah mengatakan bahwa “do not judge a book by its cover”. Karena bisa saja sampulnya terlihat bagus dan rapi tetapi isinya hanya cerita anak-anak yang tidak penting untuk mahasiswa S2. Betul??

Sekali-sekali harusnya kita bikin ceritanya jadi complicated. Yang namanya complicatedatau rumit atau acak adut atau semrawut atau ora karuhan ya terserah kita mau bikin model gimana (emang masalah buat loe???). Katakanlah kita menggambarkan yang namanya Pandawa itu  adalah para koruptor yang kerjaannya ongkang-ongkang kaki, slengekansana-sini dan beradegan seperti kompeni. Kemudian di pihak oposisi ada Kurawa yang berhati lembut, penurut dan suka memperhatikan kepentingan rakyat. Pasti pandangan kita yang selama ini terhadap Pandawa yang santun, terpuji, kesatria akan luntur seketika. Manusia memang mudah tertipu dan menipu di bagian luarnya. Seperti iklan televisi yang tidak betanggung jawab, “Kesan pertama begitu menggoda, kesan selanjutnya terserah Anda.” (what the h**l is it??).

Banyak orang yang menganggap orang bertattoo itu preman. Identik dengan kekerasan, pelanggaran dan pemberontakkan. Bagaimana ceritanya tentang preman yang bertobat? Hehehe pasti akan ada orang bertattoo yang tersinggung jika kita menganggap semua orang sama hanya karena kebiasaan atau style-nya sama. Let’s say lah  di cerita pewayangan Jawa ada tokoh yang disebut Wisanggeni, anak dari Arjuna dan Drestanala. Dia adalah salah satu tokoh pewayangan favorit saya. Wayangnya berukuran kecil kerempeng sama seperti saya hehehe. Dia berwatak keras, penthalitan ga ngerti tata krama, tidak pernah berbahasa kromo (bahasa jawa halus) kepada siapa saja kecuali kepada Sang Hyang Wenang (tuhannya di pewayangan). Bahkan para dewa pun dibuatgeger kacau balau dengan tingkah polahnya. Itu tampilan luarnya, sejatinya dia adalah kesatria yang berani mati membela keadilan dan apa adanya opo eneke. Kalau dia bilang A ya A, bukan B, C apalagi Z. Wisanggeni itu bukan tokoh yang sifatnya basa-basi ngumbar lambe (ngomong doang). Jarang ada orang yang berani seperti dia ini. Kebanyakan manusia itu renyah di luar tapi alot di dalam hahahaha… Ada salah satu teman mendeskripsikan yang namanya teman itu jarang menusuk dari belakang tetapi lebih modern menusuk dari depan (wealhahdalah…). Ada yang kelihatannya manis di luar tetapi begitu bringasan di dalam, yang pendiam tapi pethakilan di dalam. Ya bisa saja. Berarti tidak cuma di pewayangan saja ada yang namanya tokoh Dasamuka (bermuka sepuluh. Disebut juga Rahwana). Ada yang dwimuka, dasamuka bahkan multi rai (mirip-miripmultilevel marketting. Multi= banyak. Rai=muka).

Tidak semua orang baik itu selalu berkelakuan sebaik tingkah polahnya. For example, Puntadewa, anak pertama dari lima bersaudara Pandawa. Bisa dibilang dia adalah kakak teladan bagi adik-adiknya. Pendiam, santun dan panjang sabar jarang sekali marah. Tapi tetap saja ada jeleknya, suka berjudi sampai istrinya sendiri yang jadi taruhan. Nah bayangkan kalau pejabat jaman sekarang suka berjudi. Atau mari kita lihat Arjuna, pria berkharisma pujaan para wanita, lelananging jagad (prianya dunia) yang namanya selalu tercatat dalam TOP 10 The Men of the Year!. Namanya juga pujaan wanita ya dimana-mana istrinya ada. Mau yang model bagaimana? Kalem, lembut, sampai yang tomboi pun ada koleksinya. Jadi ya jangan heran kalau Eyang Subur beristri sembilan. Baru juga sembilan gitu looohh…..

Kita juga harus belajar dari tokoh antagonis seperti Kurawa. Mengapa? Sekarang bayangkan saja bagaimana mengurus anak yang jumlahnya 100? Sepertinya KB jaman dulu dan KB jangan sekarang berbeda. Kalau jaman sekarang program KB artinya “Keluarga Berencana”, kalau KB jaman dulu artinya “Keluarga Besar”. Nah, orang tua punya anak kembar dua saja sudah kewalahan mengaturnya apalagi yang 100? Bayangkan Prabu Destarasta mengurusi keseratus anaknya sendiri tanpa menyewa baby sitter. Yang satu sedang dimandikan, yang satu minta susu, yang satu lagi bikin ulah. Apa tidak mumettujuh keliling? Kadang-kadang tiga bersaudara dalam satu rumah saja suka bertengkar, tapi Kurawa yang 100 bersaudara rukun ayem tentrem damai sejahtera. Bukankah mereka adalah keluarga yang sukses menerapkan hukum kasih sesama saudara? Saling melindungi dan mengasihi saudara.

Hahahaha kita boleh terkekeh membaca artikel singkat ini. Tapi dibalik terkekeh itu ada suatu realita yang harus kita cermati. We are not alone in this world lho Mbak, Mas, Kakak, Abang, Om dan Tante sekalian. Banyak sekali manusia-manusia lain yang berkeliaran di sekitar  kita dengan berbagai watak dan tingkah polah yang berbeda. Sejatinya semua orang itu memiliki sisi hitam dan sisi putihnya masing-masing. Kertas putih pun tidak bernilai seni jika tidak ada tinta hitam yang tergores diatasnya. Begitu pula hitamnya gelap malam tidak akan indah jika tidak ada titik-titik terang para bintang yang menghiasi polosnya jagad malam. Baik dan buruk itu tidak mungkin dipisahkan seperti dua sisi mata uang. Tapi kita tidak sedang berbicara mana yang baik dan mana yang buruk. Kita berbicara tentang kehidupan yang seirama bersenandung dalam balutan dua sisi manusiawi yang berbeda. Karena baik dan buruk itu memiliki relativitasnya masing-masing.

Just think different, do different.

By. OLvie Sipota.

The cutest one… :)